Introducing KA-BOOM Ball !
Some Sunday Morning Silliness ©

MY SON RECENTLY COMPLAINED ABOUT THE TWO TEAMS facing each other in the upcoming Superbowl, saying that the last time these two played, the ratings were near record lows for the Superbowl.

In other sporting events, things have gotten so bad, that promoters have even tried near-nudity to bring the fans into their taxpayer provided stadiums and arenas. The Lingerie Football League is steadily growing in attendance thanks to us pervs, but other sports have begun to wane in attendance. 

Lingerie Football League photo

Well I think I can fix that with just a little bit more work. Let's face reality. Many people watch stock car racing not for the race…but for the CRASHES!

It's a fact of human nature that we are inexplicably drawn to images of death and disaster. That's why so many TV shows now feature disaster footage and themes. They know you will watch. News shows lead off with the latest video just in from some God-forsaken place that just got hit by earthquake, volcanic eruptions or tornado….Why? Because you watch!  YouTube videos that feature explosions, stupid people and car crashes are among the top draws there.  Why? Because you watch!  So let's take advantage of that urge.

I propose that the powers-that-be in each of the respective professional sports replace the ball, puck or object used in the game with one that will at some point in the game….explode. Nothing huge, just enough to get your attention…and remove nearby body parts of the slow or unlucky.

The explosion has to be totally random so that there is an even chance that it will explode while no one is around it, or go off while the highest paid player is holding it.

This will accomplish several things:

* People will tune in to see if someone gets killed or maimed this week.* It will help thin out the herd of pampered, spoiled and waaaaaaay overpaid players, making way for the new and upcoming players with potential and motivation.

* We the fans will get to see just who really wants to play and who is just there for the pay check.

* It will be a financial shot in the arm for prosthetics manufacturers, physical therapy specialists, funeral homes and collectible sports cards makers, who will be busy constantly issuing new cards for all the new players and memorial cards for those who were slow on the draw.

* It will generate lots of new jobs and immediately start a whole new industry making exploding sports equipment!

As technology progresses, we could eventually eliminate the yellow penalty flag used in football with player-worn taser belts. Next time a linesman goes off sides, we all get to see the real punishment, not just some lame 10 yard penalty. BZZZZZZZZZZZZ YAH!!!!!!!

I can imagine the play-by-play now…..Jones throws a long bomb ….Richards is in the clear near the 5-yard line….OH NO! Richards and 2 of the CowboyS defenders have disappeared in a KA-BOOM penalty detonation!

You see? I have answers to all of the world's problems but no one asks me!

Reprinted from the Gnome Handler Steve Marshall's e-newspaper Meadville Live.

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A Bit of Mid-day Fun

IF YOU NEED A PAUSE FOR SOME light entertainment, try out this  "through the earth" map program.  It shows you exactly where you would come out if you bored directly through the center of the earth to the other side of the globe.

The directions are listed on the page, but basically you will see a cross-hairs in the center of each of the two maps.  You use standard map-scrolling maneuvers around either one of the maps until the cross-hair is directly over your chosen spot.  The other map then shows where you would come out.

You can use the zoom-in, zoom-out tools to fine-tune your selection.  Just click on the Map Tunneling Tool HERE and have some fun.

p.s.:  I hope you like salt water.

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Enter the Contest and Start Your eBook Reading Now

Only Three Days Left to Enter

TO HELP INTRODUCE YOU TO the world of eBooks,  Dave Diamantes, author of top-selling eBook Dead Pen Pals has created this simple exercise combined with a contest for your enjoyment and enlightenment.

One of the unique features of eBook purchasing is the ability to download the first chapter of the book for free so you can "browse" and decide if you want to buy it or not.  Our contest is based on this feature and you begin playing by first going to the book's webpage:  www.deadpenpals.com

After you enter the site, move your cursor to the upper left corner of the page and click on "DEAD PEN PALS Chapter One"

That will bring you a .pdf  file containing Chapter One (my download was 5 pages, but the file contracted the spaces between paragraphs.  Don't worry, the actual eBook is formatted properly).  Read Chapter One and then…..

Answer the following questions:

1. What is the name of Duncan Weller's company?
2. What is Beverly Hartley's claim to fame?
3. What is Neil Hartley's cyber-girlfriend's name?

Enter your answers in an email addressed to us:  geezerguys(at)yahoo(dot)com.  Put CONTEST in the Subject line and send it to us by midnight Saturday January 14.

We will draw three names from all the correct entries and those three winners will receive a free copy of Dead Pen Pals.  It will play on all the major brand e-readers, not just Kindle.  If you do not have an e-reader yet, then Dave will send you a paperback version of the book, so everybody has a chance to win!  If you don't want to wait that long for a copy, you can go ahead and order one off the website we linked above.

Ok..get started and Good Luck!

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Kindle Prices Begin at $79

CLICK HERE to compare all models and order.

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Start Your eBook Reading Now

TO HELP INTRODUCE YOU TO the world of eBooks,  Dave Diamantes, author of top-selling eBook Dead Pen Pals has created this simple exercise combined with a contest for your enjoyment and enlightenment.

One of the unique features of eBook purchasing is the ability to download the first chapter of the book for free so you can "browse" and decide if you want to buy it or not.  Our contest is based on this feature and you begin playing by first going to the book's webpage:  www.deadpenpals.com

After you enter the site, move your cursor to the upper left corner of the page and click on "DEAD PEN PALS Chapter One"

That will bring you a .pdf  file containing Chapter One (my download was 5 pages, but the file contracted the spaces between paragraphs.  Don't worry, the actual eBook is formatted properly).  Read Chapter One and then…..

Answer the following questions:

1. What is the name of Duncan Weller's company?
2. What is Beverly Hartley's claim to fame?
3. What is Neil Hartley's cyber-girlfriend's name?

Enter your answers in an email addressed to us:  geezerguys(at)yahoo(dot)com.  Put CONTEST in the Subject line and send it to us by midnight Saturday January 14.

We will draw three names from all the correct entries and those three winners will receive a free copy of Dead Pen Pals.  It will play on all the major brand e-readers, not just Kindle.  If you do not have an e-reader yet, then Dave will send you a paperback version of the book, so everybody has a chance to win!  If you don't want to wait that long for a copy, you can go ahead and order one off the website we linked above.

Ok..get started and Good Luck!

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Kindle Prices Begin at $79

CLICK HERE to compare all models and order.

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A Participatory Event for Firefighters AND Spectators

THE NEW EVENT HERO RUSH is making its official debut this year.  A press release from the organization explains it all:

Hero Rush, the dynamic new firefighter-themed obstacle race and experience, has opened registration for 12 U.S. events, the company announced today. Designed for mainstream consumers by lifelong firefighters, Hero Rush will challenge participants from all walks of life to experience what firefighters face every day.

"Runners will tackle a 5K+ course studded with 15-17 obstacles that simulate real emergencies," said co-founder Dave J. Iannone. "They’ll crawl through a smoke-filled maze, scale steep roofs, drag a massive fire hose to the blaze, climb ladders and bust through windows to find victims trapped inside – and a few surprises, too."

Events are currently scheduled for Maryland, Minnesota, Michigan, North Texas, Los Angeles, Oregon, Illinois, Pennsylvania, New York, North Carolina, Central Florida and Central Texas.

Obstacle races are one of the fastest growing segments of the running industry, according to a recent Wall Street Journal article, with thousands of participants expected at each Hero Rush.

"These events have become very popular over the last two years," said co-founder Christopher Hebert. "They’re perfect for everyone, from experienced runners looking for a new challenge, to teenagers and college students, to people of all ages who just want to get out and get active."

All events will feature an Inferno Midway where both runners and spectators can practice their firefighter skills on stand-alone obstacles and challenges. Local fire departments will give demonstrations and put a fun spin on fire safety education. This family-friendly festival area will also include two kid’s courses, food and drinks, apparel and merchandise tents, music and entertainment.

Hero Rush will give back to the firefighting community through national and local fire-related charities. As the designated national charity, the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation will receive a $20 donation for each runner who chooses to run in the "343 Wave" honoring the firefighters killed in the World Trade Center on 9/11.

Hero Rush will also identify a local fire-related charity in each city to receive the proceeds from the Kid’s Firefighter Adventure Course.

Details and registration are available at www.herorush.com.

Hero Rush is currently seeking local fire departments, charities and sponsors to get involved – for more information visit www.herorush.com or email resonders@herorush.com.

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The Only Way to Watch the Tournament of Roses Parade

CABLE TELECASTER HGTV WILL BE BROADCASTING the Tournament of Roses Parade from Pasadena, California, again this year.  Regular Firegeezer readers know that the HGTV broadcast has NO commercials or incessant chatter about upcoming shows in the future.  Their expert commentators talk about the parade instead of themselves and you are able to see every float, every marching band, and every equestrian unit in the parade.

In years past, Firegeezer had given up trying to watch the parade on network tv becuase they spent most of their time talking to each other between hundreds of commercials and the viewers never get to see much of the parade at all.  But thanks to HGTV cable channel we can now truly enjoy the parade.

This year, since New Year's Day is on a Sunday, the Tournament of Roses will be held on Monday, January 2.  The parade begins at 8 am Pacific, 11 am Eastern.

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Friday Morning – Another Long Weekend Begins

Here we are nearing the end of another year…and on a weekend, too.  Add the two together and you get a lot of jocularity as people have fun running away from the year just finishing up.  And that includes firefighters.

It seems like firehouse hijinks go on everywhere, no matter the area or culture.  Our Gnome Handler, Steve Marshal found this home video of some firefighters having fun unlike any game I've ever seen in a firehouse.  But I chalk it up to one of those cultural differences and wonder why nobody I worked with ever thought of this one.  The person who posted it does not say where it took place, but looking at the uniforms, truck style and markings, I'd say it's either from Russia or one of the former Soviet bloc countries.

What a guy!!  This puts a whole new twist to the Job Security category.

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The National Hockey League will be providing its now-annual bit of New Year's fun again this year.  About five or so years ago they scheduled a regular season game to be played outdoors on New Year's Day in a football stadium using a portable ice rink.  The game was a terrific success with the fans bringing the largest crowd ever to see a professional hockey game, plus very good tv ratings despite the snowfall cutting down on visibility.

So they did it again the next year and it was an even bigger success.  So now it has become an institution and is played each year in a different city and with different teams competing.  This year's event takes place in Philadelphia's baseball stadium and pits the Flyers against the New York Rangers.

The NHL has again taken a time-lapse video of the portable rink construction and made it available for viewing:

The game will be played on Monday beginning at 1:00 pm Eastern and will be televised everywhere.  The players have more fun than anybody at these games.

We had better get started on the equipment check now.  There will be lots of merrymakers out there this afternoon and some of them will undoubtedly get in trouble, so we need to be ready for them.  I'm going to start some more coffee before we meet back in the day room.

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He's Already Airborne

NORAD HAS BEGUN THEIR ANNUAL "SANTA TRACKER" and as in year's past, they have the dynamic display posted online showing Santa's progress from when he left the North Pole on his wonderful journey.

He follows the sunset around the globe, leaving off the presents and goodies for all the good little girls and boys.  Here is the link for the website where you can open it in its own window and leave on. 

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/index.html

The display updates automatically as Santa moves along.  If you have children and they want to know when Santa's coming, just put them in front of the monitor.

High-Flying Stuntman Pulls a Good One

YVES ROSSY, THE 51-YR.-OLD RETIRED PILOT from Switzerland has been spending his Golden Years flying about with his homemade jetpack.  We last watched him three years ago in September 2008 when he successfully flew across the English Channel.  A year later he attempted to fly from Africa to Europe, more specifically across the Strait of Gibralter, but he was unable to complete his trip when he crashed into the Mediterranean.

BBC

Rossy's flying suit has a wing with a 6-foot span on his back with four jet turbine engines attached to it.  The jet suit weighs 120 lbs. and allows him to travel at speeds over 125 mph.

Recently he made news again when he flew across the Alps while in flying formation with two Albatross aerobatic jets.  Wearing several video cameras aimed in all directions, Rossy jumped out of a helicopter, fired up the turbines, then got up to speed and joined the two Albatross jets as they all flew together over the peaks.  The video that he produced is a delight, so sit back and fly with the Jetman:

Video provided by the London Telegraph

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Can Turkeys Fly?

ONCE AGAIN FIREGEEZER OFFERS THIS THANKSGIVING TREAT by reprising the most famous Turkey Day television show ever, the classic episode "Turkeys Away" from WKRP in Cincinnati.  The final line of dialogue in the episode is among the top-ten of greatest comedy lines ever from a tv show.

I'm sure many of you know the story so well you can speak the lines along with the broadcast.  So sit back, smell the turkey cooking, and enjoy this annual presentation:

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