The “Winter Carnival” brings many rituals and dysfunctions.
Including adult siblings devolving into high school quarreling.
Elizabeth Scott, MS, provides some guidelines in this 2006 ASK.com article (HERE)
DON’T MIND THE OLD GUY STRUGGLING TO BREATH

Clark Martin picture digitized by Chris Fox
A high-top Cadillac was the front-line volunteer fire department ambulance when I encountered a vivid example of this bickering endangering someone’s life.
I was 18 and just turned over to ride as the “aide man.”
Found constant surprise at the range of human relationships encountered. It is like we removed the roof of every home we entered.
The early morning “sick” call was in my neighborhood, on my old newspaper delivery route.
For once, I did not have to look up an address.
“I care more about Father than you!”
We could hear the bickering as we entered the house. Two 50-something women were in full cackle, oblivious to the flashing red lights or the young rescue rangers awkwardly standing next to them.
Startled to see a frail man slumped in a weathered armchair. The dark upholstery provided a contrast to his ashen gray face. I could see the accessory muscles working as he struggled to breath. The look in his eyes made me think of a fish out of water.
He was exhausted. His skin was becoming dusky. I realized that he could die right now.
Found my “command voice” for the first time.
Ordered the women to stop bickering and help us with their very sick dad. I hope that the oxygen and gasoline therapy helped. Not much more we could do in 1972.
Passed by that house this Thanksgiving. Three times.
OCTOGENARIAN MEMBERS OF “THE GREATEST GENERATION“
My mom had 11 brothers and sisters, the first generation of her Irish lineage born in the United States.
I remember huge Christmas gatherings in a Washington DC townhouse, meeting dozens of cousins. The food was fantastic.
When Grandmother died, the clan separated into DC and Eastern Shore (Maryland) contingents.
A few would venture in from the shore, getting as far as Tyson’s Corner shopping center before calling for directions.
It became a Winter Carnival ritual to drive the family station wagon to find Uncle Joe and guide them to the party.
The Great War, alcohol and disease claimed two-thirds of my Irish aunts and uncles. The youngest four are still in DC, my mom and her sisters.
Almost 40 Winter Carnivals after I found my command voice, I had to drive out to Tyson’s Corners to find one of my aunts.
Unlike Uncle Joe, she struggled describing where she was. She lives just a dozen miles away.
ASSESSING THE YEAR-TO-YEAR LOSS
Declining capability is deceptive. It is hard to face your shortcomings when you believe that you are a self-sufficient adult from the greatest generation. My parents and aunts provide five different examples of aging 80-somethings.
When age affects cognitive ability it requires an outside influence to point it out:
- Like a police officer pulling you over for dead license tags, then discovering your driver license is also expired.
- Or an emergency department physician asking who is treating the Stage 4 colon cancer observed while getting treatment for a fall.
- Or your children telling you it is time to move into assisted living.
DEVELOPING AN “ADULT COMMAND” VOICE
I feel like that 18 year old again, awkward in a new type of patient care setting.
The two oblivious adults are my parents. The frail and failing patient with trouble breathing is their ability to be self-reliant. The ignored flashing red lights are overdue bills, crushed sheet metal and self-care non-compliance.
This Winter Carnival I am learning to use an “Adult Command” voice. Like millions of boomers, this child of The Greatest Generation parents is transforming into primary caregiver.
Mike “FossilMedic” Ward
Related post: On Airline Travel and Ambulance Transfers
The Chief’s Point of View
Comments OffChief Gaines
Firegeezer notes: “The Chief” who wrote this posting is retired Fire Chief Glenn Gaines who is currently the acting Fire Administrator for the U. S. Fire Administration (USFA). He has the talent to see the obvious that we all missed.
* * * * * * *
ALL FIRES ARE DOWN across the nation by an average of seven percent per year over the last eight years. Residential fires are up a bit, however the trend is downward. So what is the message? Manual firefighting is not a growth industry. As fire and EMS leaders we must begin to explore new opportunities for our profession.
One opportunity I believe we should leverage is the citizen causalities due to motor vehicle accidents. No first response agency has more skin in motor vehicle accident causalities than the fire service. Law enforcement arrive, direct traffic, call a wrecker and write someone a ticket. Fire and EMS arrive, make the scene safe from additional traffic accidents, safe from fire ignition, protect the environment due to hydrocarbon spills and such, disentangle, treat and transport victims.
The numbers are down, however, over 37,000 citizens died from motor vehicle accidents in the U. S. last year. The 2009 fire fatality statistics from NFIRS demonstrate about 2,500. Just my opinion and what I am thinking.