Skip to content


Where Battalion Chiefs Go After Work

6 comments

OMAHA, NE—Responding to a need for after-work recreation and support programs for area adults, The Den, a local middle-age activity center, opened last month to provide a fun, encouraging environment where 40-to-60-year-olds can interact with others their own age.

onion-a

Funded by a $1.2 million grant from the Omaha Adult Outreach Program for the purpose of “helping our middle-age community achieve its full potential,” the new 14,000-square-foot facility offers an extensive library of self-help books, a large board-game room, an outdoor gardening area, dozens of comfortable couches and flat screen televisions, and a fully stocked liquor cabinet.

“It’s really hard being a 47-year-old in this day and age,” said Daniel Harger, 22, the center’s administrative director. “A lot of folks we serve come from high-risk, single-parent households. We’re here to reach out to them† and let them know they belong somewhere.”

Read the rest of this article in its entirety in The Onion HERE. (Note:  Satire)

  • Dal90

    As Mark Twain said, the difference between reality and fiction is you have to make fiction sound credible.

    If the Onion said we needed a federal program to help people use their Television, it wouldn’t sound credible.

  • Dal90

    As Mark Twain said, the difference between reality and fiction is you have to make fiction sound credible.

    If the Onion said we needed a federal program to help people use their Television, it wouldn’t sound credible.

  • Ralph

    What a freaking WASTE OF MONEY! Grow the F up! Maybe use monies in inner city communities for say KIDS! How about rural areas for KIDS! WTF is this?? Big Boy`s Club?? Give me a damned break. That is what the Pub is for.

  • Ralph

    What a freaking WASTE OF MONEY! Grow the F up! Maybe use monies in inner city communities for say KIDS! How about rural areas for KIDS! WTF is this?? Big Boy`s Club?? Give me a damned break. That is what the Pub is for.

  • http://vinniemiller.com/ Vinnie Miller

    Ah yes, The Onion, a great Spoof News site. Classic “is this for real???” at it’s best.

  • http://vinniemiller.com Vinnie Miller

    Ah yes, The Onion, a great Spoof News site. Classic “is this for real???” at it’s best.