Morning Lineup - August 13

There was a bit of a flap from the China Olympics the past couple of days. First, the dictatorial regime was caught enhancing the opening ceremonies on the video feed. It seems that the air quality was so bad that the people couldn’t see the fireworks very well, so they super-imposed some previously recorded fireworks displays over the live picture. It made it appear that they were putting on a terrific show, but it was really just a terrific piece of deception.

During the same ceremony, it was revealed yesterday, they had a little girl singing a song before the crowd in the stadium. But some oaf with the “Official Appearances and Impressions” committee was offended by the little tyke’s looks. So at the last minute they hustled another little gal onto the stage who had a more politically correct smile, and she lip-synched the song Milli-Vanilli style.

And that was just on the first day. But what more can you expect from a rotten government that blandly exports a billion counterfeit DVD’s every year?

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Does your shift have a gravy-man? Every station shift has a cook who is able to put a good dinner on the table. Usually the cook is chosen by acclamation as a result of being more skilled, and willing, than any of the others in the culinary arts. And if the crew is lucky, they have a backup who can fill in when Cookie is on leave.

Firehouse cookery has a reputation of long standing. Known for their ability to set out a spread for anywhere from six to fifteen hungry firefighters and paramedics, the station cooks have been written up in countless cookbooks and news stories.

The primary requirement is to lay out a meal that is (a) plentiful, (b) nutritious, and (c) tasty. And a good variety from day to day is a given.

But how about the gravy? For some reason, making really good gravy is a skill that one is born with. No matter how hard you try to learn, if you weren’t born with this special touch, then you won’t be doing anything great with the gravy.

How can that be, you say? The basic recipe for gravy is as simple as they come. You just add some juices (or milk) to some flour, mix well while heating, add some spices, and there it is. Wrong! It’s not going to be there unless you were born with that magic touch. I don’t care how good you are with the meat loaf or the fettucini. If you don’t have the gravy touch, you just ain’t gonna make it. It’s one of those mysteries of life.

Some shifts have both a regular cook AND a gravy guy who is brought in at the last minute to stir up the tantalizing sauce that makes the entree great. Lucky is the shift that has a gravy guy.

Lucky or not, we still have to get this equipment checked out. And I’ll let loose with my coffee touch.

These guys fix gravy 100 gallons at a time:

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