WE ALREADY KNOW WHO THEY’RE GOING TO CALL.  Whenever anybody’s pet tortoise gets stuck under a chair, don’t they always call the fire laddies?

In Essex, England, that’s just what a woman in Ramsden Heath did when her tortoise got stuck under a garden chair and she couldn’t free it on her own.

Calling the local fire hall, they sent Firefighter Matt Furber, 41, to see if he could help out.

The News International Group in London tells us:

“I’ve been in the fire service for 14 years and without doubt it’s the strangest call I have ever received,” said Mr Furber.

“The tortoise was about the size of a dustbin lid. It had gone under one of those metal-framed garden chairs and got stuck. The chair had then sort of collapsed on it. I got the impression that it had been there for about an hour and the owner called because she was worried about hurting it.”

He added: “I borrowed a hacksaw from the owner and cut one of the legs of the chair. The tortoise still didn’t seem keen to move but eventually the owner coaxed it along.

“I’m not an expert on tortoises but it didn’t seem distressed to me.

Mr Furber said he had travelled to the house alone and had not activated lights and sirens.

He added: “I did look in our guidelines to see if we had anything on trapped tortoises - but we didn’t.”

Firegeezer adds:  I’ll bet your guidelines don’t, either.  Better bring it up at the monthly meeting.

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