Holiday Travels With FossilMedic

Beware the Late Night "Suite" When Checking In

FossilMedic takes frequent trips. Grizzled business travelers know that it is best to get the first flight of the day and check into the hotel early to get the better rooms. Between work obligations and the declining performance of US Air, about two-thirds of FossilMedic’s hotel check-ins occur after 9 pm, some as late as 2 am.

I was reminded of this after checking into a "handicapped accessible" room around 10 pm in Virginia Beach this month. It was nestled between the elevator and the ice machine. Accessible rooms are not very bad, there are worse alternatives.

Chicago Blows Late Check In – twice

It was just after midnight when checking into a major hotel in downtown Chicago. The earnest teenager behind the desk apologized. The room that I had reserved with a credit card, and called hours ago to remind them of my late arrival, was unavailable. After some typing on his terminal, his eyes lit up, "I can offer you a suite at no extra cost." Sold.

Suites in hotels come in two flavors, integrated and separate. The suite in this hotel is a room adjacent to a regular hotel room. It features a large gathering area, a meeting desk and other accruements to support business, sales or small group meetings. There is a full bathroom usually behind the wet bar. It can be separated from the regular hotel bedroom and, as I was discovering, used to handle overflow reservations.

But there we had a problem. I could not find a bed, not even a couch. I returned to the front desk to inquire about bedding. Imagine my embarrassment when he told me that there was a Murphy bed in the room. He made up for the inconvenience with food vouchers that covered the breakfast buffet and enough additional frequent sleeper points on my loyalty card to push me into the next level.

This scenario was repeated a year later. Unfortunately there was no Murphy bed, food vouchers or bonus points. This suite was a huge boardroom overlooking the Miracle Mile. It contained a massive oak table and credenzas. In the middle of the room was a scrawny fold-out cot with one pillow and no blankets. I got blankets at 1:15 am. For unknown reasons I got a second set of blankets at 2:30 am. Despite decades of sleeping in fire stations, this remains one of the creepiest places I have stayed in.

Uncomfortable cots not confined to major chains

But that was not the most uncomfortable cot. That award goes to a boutique San Francisco hotel that was overbooked when I arrived. Their suite had a sofa sleeper that may have been older than me. At least they cut the price in half for that night.

The most luxurious overflow was in Las Vegas. Arriving at 1 am, they put me in a four room VIP suite at the top of the highrise, with the caveat that I needed to be out of there by 9 am. No problem, until I went to shower the next day in the monster bathroom/Jacuzzi room. No soap.

I hope that your travels this holiday season are less surprising.